“We’re in east london today i’m here to meet a fellow called magnus to get my brown star turned into a bronzed ornament. I do like it trying to experience new things, even if they’re weird things, i don’t want to get older and regret not getting my butt bronzed is.
My partner mike assisting me while we do a cast of your room oh thanks i think i came up with the idea i know i don’t know where from but that a sculpture of an anus should be made in chocolate.
It just seemed to make some sort of poetic sense we first started selling edible anuses 10 to 15 years ago 15 years ago we’ll cover you up so that just uranus is showing right what they actually are is a very small sculpture based on the cast of and i are real amos we’ve got this as well in case it gets messy i wear this sometimes so you have to see me with this and flippers on you’ll know it’s probably gonna be serious.
Yeah having made chocolate anuses now for a fair while we’ve moved into the more permanent alice’s made of casting metal or glass trailers got changed then it’s behind the screen please and these available to anybody who wants their own anus cast or a copy of someone else’s anus.
What’s that film i think it was something like gum candy where this mad surgeon doesn’t operation is flew these finger on a man’s brain do you know that fantastic hello and everybody claps.
Right i’m ready bringing the patient in terms of the casting process of the anus i think in general individuals are a little bit worried right you know the position strike it up get comfortable that’s the main thing get comfortable my experience is that people who have had a casting don’t find it very difficult that’s it that’s good slobber you oughta move this and fairly quickly their their concerns disappear and and it can be quite an enjoyable occasion this is the weirdest yoga position ever this un lou sorry it’s a little bit of an event and i think it’s something that you might view you’re the person who’s being cast may remember for a long while you know in your old folks home you can turn some wizard person next to you and talk about your anus casting i’ve been fairly sure that he or she has never had that experience.
Pull your butt apart a little bit put your cheeks up okay okay that’s good well first time i ever tried to do a cast of an anus i tried to do my own and i had to wait until my misses and gone out and my son had gone to school i like went in the kitchen and i mixed up the out in it and i poured it into me bum well you know i took the trousers off and put me knees beside him he had poured this stuff in the bum and it all ran past me nuts into me face.
“Don’t move anything there yeah I know it feels great doesn’t it.”
Oh there was some interesting failures on the way you can’t get it out your pubic hairs it sets horrible any i can yeah but the thing is you can’t mix it with warm stuff if you mix it with warm water it goes off far too quickly.
Now i’m just what i’m doing is just sort of making sure it gets in minute that’s it you keep putting your bum apart that’s good that’s it fortunately if you want oh yes yes please okay now that’s gonna come out in three -.
Is gone really can i see my designer anus now patrick moore would have been good but he’s dead perhaps and petra klaus dead ines that would be my jury – the anus of a fat corpse like patrick moore be marvellous i feel like a star wouldn’t it and he liked the stars he liked that sort of nebulous study you make them in them it was something luminous and you can put them on your ceiling and that would be a real tribute to patrick morally.
So really like that nice and hard without student then it’s as hard as it will ever be so this is the time to take it apart and see what we’ve got yeah it’s really it’s the moment of revelation that’s in the bible isn’t it see this is how it came out of you that’s what your bomb looks like for that little knob you haven’t got looking up mike would now turn these into the finished item we’ll send it to the foundry and you will have a bronze cast of it of your own.
Manners i please do sit there okay so it’s four weeks since i saw my bum chum magnus and i just got this it’s my bronze brown star and i’m gonna display it on my mantelpiece.
I tell you they’re good for chop stick holders because they got that dent in them and if you you can put your chopsticks in them with the right sort of chinese restaurant we could sell loads of them coffee cups we thought about putting one in the bottom of a coffee cup so that when you drank your coffee it’s just in there looking at you.”